i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
