yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
