Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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