I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
