Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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