actually, I'm a sock model
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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