I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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