ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
