Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
