Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
