someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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