Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
