So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
