just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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