girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
