He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
