his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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