dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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