I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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