There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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