it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
