somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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