ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
