i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
