So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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