Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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