is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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