ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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