i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
jump out the window naked night went bad
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
