Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
