im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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