Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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