he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
