i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
