11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
