It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
