a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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