I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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