god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
