"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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