it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
