they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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