So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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