there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
