One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
