You can't special order awesome
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
There are leaves in my underwear?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
