He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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