last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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