party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
