My room smells like vodka and shame
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't deserve a penis
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
