I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
