the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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