im gay
i know
yea but for you.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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