That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
