I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
