Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
