i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
