Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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